Loss

Empty Sex Pt 1

~ J.C. FitzDerick ~ 1 Comment

In a carnal crash of two
eyes glazed
heated in sexual need.
We sought our delicious counter.

I approached you,
bearing words of no weight.
You were smiling, cheeks rosed,
eyes coyly flitting away.

Upheld by the bar and it medicines,
we back and forth, exchanged air,
hoping for a bold gale,
so we may sail afar.

And so,
surrounded by shoes fitting another,
in your bed,  I wake.
An explorer of every pleasure’s niche,
my right arm humming, unconscious
from a precarious night’s pose.

We sip tea, and a second one too,
laying again exposed,
as we flick questions, discovering
passions and pursuits .

Clothed now in Hampstead, we part,
returning to our lives before this past morning,
our gaze locked, gasping reunion.

It Should All Go Wrong Pt 2

~ J.C. FitzDerick ~ Leave a comment

It did all go wrong
–its obvious end.

Our chance taken on the brittle words
that brought us together -shattered and disowned.
Leaving us as before…
Bereft of the other.

I retreated from our union,
jabbing thistles in our bond
ringing an alert of a union awry.

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It Should All Go Wrong Pt 1

~ J.C. FitzDerick ~ Leave a comment

It should all go wrong,
we met in a place of false fronts and lying selves.
A glossy lieu, with suave social personas
titivated to an idealised reality.

Vollies of double ticked messages passed
and through their shallow blue
we were born to each other, rosey eyed
unaware of each other’s face.

We encountered in an entent fragile,
in a room sombre,
scented sweet with amber ale;
our social devotion weak and optional.

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Do you love me now?

~ J.C. FitzDerick ~ Leave a comment

One day you’ll love me when my name is known,
but for now you’ll see my soul emptied in my phone.
Asleep on the tube or awake at night in bed,
my thoughts pour fleeing from my chest to my head.
My heart purges thick oil from my core -it’s a start,
I pine for irreality and for the darkness’ depart.
I sign away joyous secrets and lamentful decisions,
avoiding your judgment to make an incision.
To your eyes open I’m paused -pregnant in wait,
for you to render me love’s stark fate.
With my name atop poems you’ll see and you’ll know,
to love me cause I’m playing on the radio.
I’ve signed faux-names to truths in futile admission,
for one day you’ll know me and release me from my prison.

The Nothing Before

~ J.C. FitzDerick ~ Leave a comment

A fair perspective eludes
a feverous desire
now devolved to a black ember,
a crumb from its former whole.

Distrust corrupted our air,
the fire uneased, wheezing and resigning
unable to persevere.

Lethargy and double thought
rendering the flame impotent
emptied of passionate blaze.
Without heat to broaden,
nor a cold to collapse.

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